You Might be a Powerlifter if!

If you can’t count above 5 but can multiply by 45 in your head………You might be a Powerlifter.

If you think Babypowder on your thighs and chalk on your hands looks cool… You might be a Powerlifter.

If whenever a friend is moving you are the first person they call for help…. You might be a Powerlifter.

If you hear people in the gym talking about someone who looks “very cut” means that there has been a terrible accident…. You might be a Powerlifter.

If most people in the gym don’t like you…. You might be a Powerlifter.

If the word “gear” refers to squat suits, bench shirts, wraps, belts, suit slippers, salts and chalk, not steroids…. You might be a Powerlifter.

If you inhale ammonia instead of using it for cleaning…. You might be a Powerlifter.

If the amount of weight you lift is more important than how cleanly shaven your legs are or how dark your tan is…. You might be a Powerlifter.

If you work at a desk all day and you still have 1/2 inch thick calluses on your hands. …. You might be a Powerlifter.

If the gym owner kicks you out for bending yet another bar while squatting…. You might be a Powerlifter.

If you check squat depth when using the john…. You might be a Powerlifter.

If the doctor tells you that you need more iron in your diet so you throw in an extra set of lock-outs…. You might be a Powerlifter.

If you use a 1 kg plate as a paper-weight on your desk at work…. You might be a Powerlifter.

If you have baby powder in your gym bag…. You might be a Powerlifter.

If it takes 5 seconds for your spirit to re-enter your body after squatting…. You might be a Powerlifter.

If you use the handicap stall for the handrails after your leg day…. You might be a Powerlifter.

If you think of helping your neighbors move their piano as “a set”…..You might be a powerlifter…. You might be a Powerlifter.

If you drop something, and go into a sumo stance to pick it up…. You might be a Powerlifter.

If you dismount the toilet like doing box squats (to perfect that explosive power) …. You might be a Powerlifter.

If you get accused by bodybuilders or crossfitters of taking steroids because you’re stronger than they are…. You might be a Powerlifter.

The Big Steve Kaufman (The Baldest Guy in Houston)